If you’re reading this, you’re probably looking for some ways to get your teen off the computer. Maybe they spend all their time on Facebook. Perhaps they are addicted to an online game. Or maybe you can’t get your daughter off webcam with her boyfriend long enough to sit down for a family dinner.
I have a few teen-friendly (and parent approved) tips to get your child off the computer.
To give a little background info, I’m technically [still] a teen. Sure, my mom doesn’t control my computer use anymore – but when I was younger, we had lots of little battles over my computer use. I was [and still am] really into an online game called World of Warcraft. So while I’m speaking mostly from the teen’s point of view, I did clear my ideas with some parents. Here they are:
Ask us what we want. This one is pretty straight-forward. Ask your teen what motivates him or her (and believe me, most teens KNOW what they [think] they want.) If you find that your son is hurting for a little extra cash, and not world domination, you may be able to “bribe” him to get off the computer.
We like $ $ $ . While this may seem obvious, some parents don’t immediately get that money motivates most teens. Other parents may feel that “bribing” your teenager to spend some time off of Facebook is not an appropriate way to spend money. I don’t have a great response to that, albeit to tell you this: I’m not suggesting you give your teen a fortune, and I’m not going to say a set amount, but many teens work, and so a little extra cash is always nice.
In the teenage mind, the computer belongs to its primary user. I’m going to say the teen is under 18 in this case, which is probably the case with most parents reading this. People under 18 don’t *officially* have any “property” under our government, and so *technically*, everything in your (the parent’s) house belongs to you (the parent.) The point I’m trying to make is that if the teenager uses the computer all the time, and you rarely ever use it, they consider it to be (at least in part) theirs. I say this regardless of whether it is the teen’s personal laptop or the family computer in the common room. It’s just the way our brains function. Is this a bad thing? Well, it depends on the way you look at it. To the teen, it’s probably a good thing. To the parent, well…not so much. Because of the way teens tend to regard their machines, I urge you not to take it away all of sudden without notice.
Don’t just yank the computer away. If you have tried bargaining with your teen to spend more time with the family, but it just isn’t working – don’t just yank the computer. I cannot stress this one enough. Some parents will get into a fit of rage at their teen over whatever, and then exact their punishment by taking the teen’s computer. The teen, feeling justified because their parent has “stolen” something of theirs, then strikes back at the parent. A war of retaliation is begun that does not end well for either party.
If you plan to take it away, do it gradually –and compensate us. Doing it gradually does not mean that you just got into a huge fight with your son or daughter and announce to them that you will be taking their computer away at promptly noon tomorrow. Did you give them notice? Yes. Was it gradual? No. Did you think about your actions ahead of time? Probably not. Just because your teenager spends lots of time on the computer, and you’re sick of it, don’t just decide to take it away. I would actually recommend counseling (having been there myself) for the two of you. If you do decide on counseling, get an un-biased medical professional with at least some experience working with teens on the subject of internet/computer addiction. The first counselor my mother ever got me was a middle-aged woman who had never heard of iTunes. And I was going there because my mother had decided to move my computer to a central location from my room (see next tip). I was not pleased. If you do decide to take away your teen’s computer, I would recommend stating it kindly and then offering to do something for your teen or giving them a new opportunity in return. The opportunity should be something akin to your teen’s interest (i.e. joining a book club for a bookworm-ish teenager.) And although some teens may receive this kindly, others will not. Be prepared for a blow-up on the part of your teen. After all, how would you feel if someone was taking away your favorite thing to do?
So you wouldn’t mind having your daughter’s desktop computer in the living room. This one is a little tricky. Are you planning to allow the whole family (including your teen’s little sister who she thinks is annoying) use it? Or would it be for your teen’s personal use? To go back to the girl who is always on webcam with her boyfriend example, she probably would not be too happy that her parents could see and hear everything she typed and said on the computer. If you are moving it because you are concerned about what she is DOING on the computer – well, that’s another story…err, article. Check out the end of this particular article for info about that.
Thanks for reading! I hope these little tips helped. Stay tuned; I’m going to write another article (from the teen’s point of view) about ways to monitor what your teen is doing online, and steps to take if you don’t like your results.
Written by Skyrra
Nerdy Chick 
Raise healthy, confident teenagers; learn the two musts for parenting teenagers in this free DIY teen psychology video from a professional life coach and experienced youth counselor. Expert: Jason Wittman Bio: Jason Wittman received his master of professional studies degree in counseling psychology from Cornell university. Since the mid-1980s, he has had a private practice as a Life Coach. Filmmaker: Nili Nathan
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