Article by lou dankins

A driver’s license-for teenagers it’s a ticket to freedom, a big step on their way to adulthood, and a first taste of independence. Teens with a driver’s license and a set of car keys-for the first time in their lives-can venture out on their own, no longer relying on mom, dad, or big brother or sister to shuttle them from one place to another. Months earlier you couldn’t get your teenager off the couch. But with their newly acquired access to mobility, it becomes difficult to keep them in the driveway. Teens aren’t thinking about getting free insurance quotes. They just want those car keys.

Freedom always comes at a price and with increased responsibility. Literal costs include expenses like car insurance, gas, tolls and possibly even a new vehicle. Having access to new things and new places, being behind the wheel of the family car, or driving yourself to a new job all result in added responsibility.

All that said, the reality is that many teens may not be ready for the responsibility that comes along with having a newly acquired driver’s license. In a 2004 study in the Journal of Studies on Alcohol, researchers McCarthy and Brown report that in the period immediately after obtaining their license, teens are more likely to engage in high-risk behaviors such as drinking and smoking marijuana. This should be a warning to parents to keep an extra-close and diligent watch on their teen’s behavior during this time.This plays a big role as to why young drivers have high insurance rates. With the ability to travel to new places and meet new people, teenagers gain easier access to many worrisome situations.

The saddest reality however, is that the price paid by a new teen driver is all too often their own life, the lives of their passengers or the lives of those in another car. Motor vehicle accidents are the leading cause of death among 15- to 20-year-olds in the United States. The National Center for Statistics and Analysis (NCSA) reports “in 2003, 3,657 drivers 15-20 years old were killed, and an additional 308,000 were injured, in motor vehicle crashes.”

It is ultimately up to the licensed teen to drive safely but there are a number of factors that lead to a higher rate of accidents and deaths among this age group. Before blindly handing your keys over to your new driver, here are several risk factors parents and their new teen drivers should discuss together:

Inexperience-Teen drivers are far less experienced behind the wheel. As a result, they are less likely to react to unusual driving circumstances in necessary time and the correct manner. They also often underestimate hazardous situations. The Insurance Institute for Highway Safety (IIHS) reports that “compared with crashes of older drivers, those of 16-year-olds more often involve driver error.” Not surprisingly, that age group also has the highest accident rate per mile driven. Practice may not ever make for perfect drivers, but it is a big help.

Risk seeking-One aspect of adolescence that hasn’t changed since parents were teenagers themselves is that teens still believe they are invincible and invulnerable. An “invincible” teen and car keys can be a deadly combination. Young and immature drivers often deliberately seek out dangerous situations. The exhilaration of a “close call” inspires them to push limits even farther. In 2004, the National Institute for Mental Health found that late adolescents have yet to fully develop the part of the brain that moderates risk taking. Young drivers are more likely to tailgate, speed and change lanes quickly without realizing the danger.

Speeding-Teens feel the need for speed. According to the IHHS, “16 year-old drivers have a higher rate of crashes in which excessive speed is a factor.” Among fatal crashes from 1983-2002, the proportion of drivers who were speeding was highest among 15- to 20-year-olds (nearly 40 percent), and higher than any other age group (NCSA). Since the advent of muscle cars, teens have been drawn toward power and speed. Today’s lighter, smaller and faster cars allow teens to reach incredibly dangerous speeds while leaving them with very little protection. Police report catching teens driving in excess of 180 MPH. Air bags and other safety devices are rendered useless at such speeds. A survey of California teens found that young drivers only felt as though they were speeding when driving 90+ MPH. Movies and countless auto racing video games such as Burnout and Need for Speed may also fuel the fire and encourage teens to put the pedal to the metal.

Street racing-What the film American Graffiti did to help an earlier generation of teens rediscover drag racing, The Fast and the Furious and its sequel did to ignite interest in street racing among today’s new breed of young, import driving, thrill-seeking teens. Long popular in California, street racing has become influential across the nation. Street racing was listed as a factor in 135 fatal crashes in 2001 (the same year The Fast and the Furious was released), nearly double the amount in 2000, according to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA). It’s a stretch to suggest that media has little or no impact on teen behavior. While the number of teens who participate in street racing is difficult to quantify, evidence of the growing popularity of the street racing culture is hard to ignore. Drivers modify their cars to improve performance, speed and acceleration. Modifications include spoilers, computer chips, turbochargers and even nitrous-oxide kits. However, as one fatally injured teen’s mother says, “You don’t have to have a souped-up car to drive fast.”

Underage/unlicensed driving-The Children’s Safety Network reported 2,452 fatal crashes involving unlicensed young drivers from 1998-2002. This astonishing figure points to the fact that many more underage and unlicensed drivers are now on the road. Recent teen movies such as Sleepover have glorified underage driving. The article, “The Young and the Reckless,” in the July 2005 edition of Good Housekeeping magazine reports that many parents actually allow and encourage this behavior! A goodhousekeeping.com survey offered these results: “75 percent of people said they or their friends had driven a car before they were licensed, 53 percent of parents said they knew their kids had driven without a license, and 44 percent of parents said they allowed their unlicensed teenager to drive.”

Drunk driving-The statistics about drunk driving among our young (who are, by the way, drinking illegally) prove truly troubling. NHTSA reports that of 15- to 20-year-old drivers killed in crashes in 2003, 31 percent had been drinking. MADD states, “In 2001, 2.8 million college students drove a car while under the influence of alcohol.” According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, 17 percent of all people ages 16-20 reported driving under the influence of alcohol. Only 4 percent were arrested and booked. Drunk driving among young male drivers is much higher than among females. Parents, be aware that passengers are at great risk as well. A national survey conducted by the Center for Disease Control (CDC) reports three out of 10 teens had ridden with a drunk driver within the previous month.

Drugged driving-Monitoring the Future, an ongoing study tracking trends in teen drug and alcohol use, reveals that one in six high school seniors admitted to driving under the influence of marijuana. High school seniors driving under the influence of marijuana caused about 38,000 accidents in 2001 alone. While marijuana use is highest, other illicit drugs are used behind the wheel as well. Stephen Wallace, CEO of SADD, says, “many (teens) believe that driving under the influence of marijuana poses little risk of impaired operation.” Some 41 percent of teens aren’t worried about driving after using illegal drugs according to a SADD/Liberty Mutual poll. Among teens who regularly use drugs, 57 percent say they would have no problem riding as a passenger in a drugged driver’s car, and 68 percent admit to driving under the influence themselves.

Cell phone use-It seems everyone is driving with one hand on the wheel, while talking on their cell phone with the other. The IIHS states that “drivers using phones are four times as likely to get into crashes serious enough to injure themselves.” Consider how often teens use their cell phones, along with their inexperience as drivers, and you have an increasingly dangerous situation. Some 62 percent of teens admitted to talking on a cell phone while driving (SADD/Liberty Mutual). Even hands-free devices won’t help. Data comparing hands-free vs. hand-held use shows an insignificant difference in injury crash risk.

Nighttime driving-Teens who drive at night are at much greater risk. According to the Highway Loss Data Institute, “42 percent of teenagers’ fatalities occurred between 9 p.m. and 6 a.m.” Data also shows that crashes and fatalities are highest on the weekends.

Teen passengers-According to the National Commission Against Drunk Driving, 65 percent of teen passenger deaths occur when another teenager is driving. Males driving with male passengers are the most dangerous combination. In addition, crash rates increase significantly as the number of passengers increase. Russ Rader, a spokesman for the IIHS says, “When you have a teen passenger in the vehicle with a teen driver, the risk of a crash is twice as high, if you have two or more teen passengers . the risk can be five times as high.”

Seatbelt use-Too many teens fail to use seatbelts. Many lives could have been saved with the click of the buckle. According to the CDC, teens have the lowest rate of seat belt use. An estimated one-third of teen drivers fail to buckle up.

What can parents do?

Parents play a major role in how safe their teen driver is while out on the road. Driver’s education classes have been shown to do little in producing safer drivers. Of course, driving lessons provide valuable experience and classes will certainly not hurt. However, teens themselves say that parents influence their driving habits the most.

Model safe driving habits. Children of all ages are paying attention. It’s not fair to expect a newly licensed driver to obey the traffic laws if parents don’t follow laws themselves. Set positive examples by not using a cell phone while driving. Come to a complete stop at stop signs. Obey the speed limit. These little measures will go a long way in helping your teen notice and inherit safe driving skills.

Find More Teen Responsibility Articles

Teaching teenagers how to be financially responsible is no easy task. As parents struggle with a generation of kids who have grown up using the Internet and cell phones, it can be harder than ever before to explain the idea of saving for that proverbial rainy day. If you’re looking for a way to let your teen practice responsible spending while also teaching him or her about the dangers of debt, a prepaid credit card might be just what you need. Prepaid cards like the Green Dot card allow you to set limits on your teen’s spending, teach him or her about budgeting and open up a discussion about managing finances. Check out these six steps to teaching teens responsible spending with a prepaid credit card.

1. Analyze Your Teen’s Income Potential
Before getting a prepaid credit card for your teen, you should sit down together and discuss how much money he or she will get each month. This figure will serve as a basis for the budget you’ll put together later. Consider whether your teen will be doing work around the house or odd jobs for money, or whether he or she will receive a regular allowance. If your teen is old enough to get a job, think about how many hours he or she can work each week. After you’ve determined how much money your teen will have available each month, it’s easy to load a Green Dot card with this set amount. When teens see their monthly income as a finite value, they learn to make more cautious decisions about purchases.

2. Discuss the Differences Between Needs and Wants
Though some teens might already be well aware of this important lesson, it never hurts to go over it again with a bit more specificity. For instance, your teen might already understand that clothing is a need, but neglect to see that an eighth pair of jeans might not be a necessity. Helping teens put their needs and wants into perspective is a great lesson that will serve them throughout college and their lives.

3. Set a Budget Together
With a clear understanding of your teen’s income potential and his or her individual needs and wants, you can now begin to set a budget together. Many people tend to think of a budget as a guideline, when in reality, it should be a set of limitations. Loading a Green Dot card each month helps teens stay within their budgets, as they won’t be able to charge anything additional once their money runs out. Prepaid cards are a safe alternative to traditional credit cards, which allow charges to be made without any concern for budgets.

4. The Value of Dividing Money into Separate Accounts
A great way to keep teens within the confines of their budget is to help them divide money into multiple accounts. In doing so, teens can keep their money for entertainment, clothes, food and savings in separate places, which prevents them from accidentally dipping into their lunch money to buy movie tickets. By getting multiple prepaid cards for your teen, he or she will be able to tell easily how much money is left in each category.

5. Help Teens Track Their Spending
After you’ve gotten your teen set up with a spending plan and a Green Dot card, be sure to check in regularly to help track his or her spending. When teens review their purchases at the end of the month, they often see things about their spending habits that they weren’t aware of before. By showing your teen the value of monitoring spending on a regular basis, he or she will learn just how important it is to remain committed to the budget. Of course, help your teen understand that budgets can be flexible. Teens should realize that budgets can be adjusted in order to accommodate their changing interests.

6. Learning About Credit Cards
Setting your teen up with a green dot card is one of the best ways to teach him or her about the dangers of credit cards. When you review your teen’s spending each month, take the opportunity to talk about traditional credit cards. Because teens will be used to only spending the money that is loaded on their cards in advance, they may have difficulty understanding how people can spend money they don’t have. Discuss the concepts of interest rates and credit scores, explaining to teens how all of these things can affect them later in life.

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Sex is everywhere and this means your teen is exposed to it in one way or another whether on TV, in music lyrics or among their peers. Children often are intrigued about sex well before their teen years. Once they reach their teen years, many are already engaging in sex and some have become young parents. In society, sex is often seen as a reactional activity or viewed as ‘everyone’s doing it’ more so than an act of love and commitment between two people that requires a great deal of responsibility. How can you encourage your teen to wait on sex in a society that pushes sex so much?

Importance of Values

Discuss with your teen the importance of values. Openly discuss with them how it is against your family beliefs for people to engage in casual sex or sex before marriage. Be detailed about your beliefs and the benefits of following those beliefs.

Set an example for your teen. For example, if you are single and dating again, don’t have people coming in and out of your house that could give the impression you are engaging in casual sex and view it differently than you want your teen to view it.

Talk About What Surrounds a Teen

Take the time to listen to the music your teen listens to. Discuss the lyrics that are being played in the songs. Some of today’s music is explicit and very sexual, without much love or true caring involved. Ask your teen’s opinion of the lyrics. Calmly offer your feelings and thoughts and how some music and lyrics can be a negative force.

When a sexual scene or message is on a show you are watching, make a comment about the effects and consequences that could happen and are in proportion to your beliefs. For example, if the there is a scene of two people heavy kissing and heading toward a casual sex situation, you could turn that into a dialogue with your teen.

Talk about Your Experiences

Share with your teen what you learned from your experiences as a teen until present time. You don’t have to provide all the nitty gritty and personal details. Just let them know what you learned from experience, both positive and negative. Did you have regrets looking back? Were you happy with the choices you made? What would you do differently with the knowledge you have now? Have your beliefs changed from when you were a teen and now as an adult?

Teens often say, ‘you did it Mom and Dad so why can’t I”. They need to understand why your experiences and beliefs changed from when you were a teen to how you are at present time and how your experiences help you guide them to to a better path.

Don’t Condemn Friends that are Sexually Active

If you find out your teen’s friends are sexually active, don’t condemn them. Focus on the positive about your teen. Let your teen know how proud you are of them for not giving in to peer pressure.

Comment on how you hope the friend doesn’t later have regrets and the possible things that could happen by engaging in sex at such an early age. Express concern for the teen for making the inappropriate choices for their age. Your teen is more likely to listen if you are not putting down their friends, but showing genuine and valid concern.

Talk Openly about Sexually Transmitted Diseases and Consequences

Discuss with your teen the different sexually transmitted diseases. Even safe sex can be risky. There are many different types of illnesses and diseases your teen should be aware of – some, which can be deadly.

It’s important for your teen to understand that sex in the real world is not like it’s portrayed in the glamorized Hollywood movies. It shouldn’t be taken lightly, but should be held as a beautiful union between two adults who are mature, genuinely in love and ready for the responsibility.

Your teen should know that, not only can sex lead to diseases, but also unplanned pregnancy. Even one time of having sex can lead to pregnancy. Teens often feel this will never happen to them, but too often it does.

Sexual encounters that teens engage in, may or may not have had anything to do with love and caring. Yet, huge decisions and responsibilities can follow. The teen is faced with the fear of telling their parents, the decision of whether to have the baby, the emotional pain of possibly going through with an abortion or the huge responsibility of having the baby and putting their education and youth on the back burner.

Encourage your teen to ask you questions. Talk, discuss and influence, instead of lecturing. Remember…teens often say things or ask specific questions that may have a shock affect. Don’t blow up! Wait and focus on the topic at hand. It takes patience and continuous involvement to help guide your teen.

With more and more entertainment coming out each year, we need to exercise extra vigilance regarding what our children are being exposed to. There is explicit and adult content readily available for anyone to access now, and the list is growing all the time. While there isn’t anything wrong with this adult entertainment, there is a reason it is not rated for kids!

Children are impressionable, and will repeat or take after things they see and hear. If they are exposed to adult oriented, they are likely to develop bad habits and less-than-savory vocabularies. If exposed at a young age, a child can become confused regarding how they are supposed to behave. They become more likely to grow up with behavioral problems. This is why using parental controls and being involved in what your children are being exposed to is important.

Parental controls on TV are made to be very easy for you to set up, but not easy for your kids to disable.

Some sort of password is always required. It needs to be something your kids will have a hard time guessing at. On the TV the controls keep anything over a certain rating, along with certain channels, from being viewed.

You can also set parental controls on your internet, and they block similar material. Since ANYTHING can make it onto the internet, this is very important to do. It is so easy for kids to find or stumble across adult material and inappropriate music if there are no parental controls on.

You will want to occasionally check the parental controls to make sure that they are still up and working properly. Things can disable them, such a computer glitches or program updates. You may also take the controls off in order to not be hindered in looking for things and forget to turn them back on.

Also, kids will sometimes try to remove them for various reasons, and you want to know if they succeed. It is something to keep an eye on.

Checking into the sorts of things your kids watch and listen to is also a good idea. Look at their CDs or MP3 players. Look into the bands that they have on there. If you are in doubt about a movie or show, there are places online where you can go and search for information on them.

Since you can’t supervise your kids 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, putting things in place to help protect them is crucial. Every little thing that can help you keep them away from harmful influences is important.

Protecting our kids is a full-time task. Unfortunately in today’s world it is often more than we can handle on our own. We need tools to help us in places where we can’t always be, and parental controls are one of the easiest to use. Properly set up parental controls are also remarkably effective. Look at the toolbar on your internet and the menu on your TV. You will find your parental controls and step by step instructions on how to use them.

All Rights Reserved to MTV’s Networks No Copyright Intended Jori King looking like an idiot on MTV’S Parental Control! Date Filmed: March, 2009 This is back before I really started singing and when I had longer hair! Haha You’ll catch me in a few clips! Nothing too special! Full Episode: www.mtv.com Other Sites & Contact Info: www.joriking.blogspot.com Download Jori’s Music: www.joriking.blogspot.com Comment, Like, Subscribe Please! Hope you enjoy, thanks so much!

Article by Larry Allen

Do you have kids? Do you have a computer? If you have both, I sure your heart will be full of trouble. Because when your kids are using a PC, you’re probably worried about how much time they spend, and what kind of games they’re playing. But if your computer uses Windows 7 Operating System, you needn’t worry about this. Because of the Parental Controls. Parental controls helps you manage how you want others to use the computer. With Parental Controls in Windows 7, it’s easy to supervise each of your kid’s PC use without having to peek over their shoulders.

1st: What can we control with Parental Controls?

1. Set specific time limits on your children’s computer use. You can set time limits to control when children are allowed to log on to the computer. Time limits prevent children from logging on during specified hours. You can set different logon hours for every day of the week. If they’re logged on when their allotted time ends, they’ll be automatically logged off.

2. Prevent your children from playing games you don’t want them to play. Control access to games, choose an age-rating level, choose the types of content you want to block, and decide whether you want to allow or block specific games.

3. Keep your children from running specific programs. Prevent children from running programs that you don’t want them to run.

In Windows 7, Parental Controls helps you limit how much computer time children have, as well as which programs they can use (and perhaps more importantly, when), and if you have games on the computer, it’s really easy to decide what games your kids can play based on the game’s ratings. With the Parental Controls in Windows Media Center, you can also block access to objectionable TV shows and movies.

2st: How to set up Parental Controls?

To set up Parental Controls for your child, you’ll need your own administrator user account. Before you get started, make sure each child that you want to set up Parental Controls for has a standard user account. Parental Controls can be applied only to standard user accounts. If you lost Windows password and can’t sign in the administrator account, you must recover Windows password with Windows password reset disk or Windows password recovery software. If your computer is connected to a domain, Parental Controls aren’t available.

To turn on Parental Controls for a standard user account:

1. Open Parental Controls by clicking the “Start” button, clicking “Control Panel”, and then, under “User Accounts and Family Safety”, clicking “Set up parental controls for any user”.? If you’re prompted for an administrator password or confirmation, type the password or provide confirmation.

2. Click the standard user account that you want to set Parental Controls for. If the standard user account isn’t set up yet, click “Create a new user account” to set up a new account.

3. Under “Parental Controls”, click “On, enforce current settings”.

4. Once you’ve turned on Parental Controls for your child’s standard user account, you can adjust the following individual settings that you want to control.

When Parental Controls blocks access to a game or program, a notification is displayed that the program has been blocked. Your child can click a link in the notification to request permission for access to that game or program. You can allow access by entering your account information.

OK, quickly set up your PC so it helps keep your kids safe now.

Are you the parent of a child who uses the internet or the parent of a child who will start using the internet soon?  If you are, you should know that the internet is a great way to stay up-to-date on the news, do research for school projects, and communicate with friends, but it can also be very dangerous.  As a parent, it is your responsibility to make sure that your child stays safe online.  Unfortunately, for this to happen you must know your way around a computer and the internet.  Do you?

A child should never know more than a parent does about the internet.  At the very least, you should know about the same.  If you are looking to block adult websites or websites that have offensive language, it will not do you any good if your teenager knows ways to get around the parental controls that you set.  That is why it is important that you know how to use a computer and the internet or learn if you don’t know.

Another reason why you should be well educated on the internet and computer use is because you are better able to fully understand the dangers of them.  You may hear that an internet predator approached or kidnapped a child on the news, but you may automatically assume that it will not happen to your child.  Unfortunately, until you understand how the internet works, you really have no idea.  Does your child use internet chat rooms or social networking websites?  If so, do you know how easy the internet makes it for someone to create a whole new, fake identity?

A good understanding of computer and internet use can better enable you to protect your child.  Do you know that Internet Explorer, the browser that comes standard, has a free parental control option that just needs to be activated?  A few easy steps and you can have certain websites blocked from your child.  Unfortunately, you won’t know this if you don’t know all that you can know about the computer or the internet.  Speaking of the internet, additional online safety tools for parents can be purchased online as well.

Now that you know the importance of staying in the know about the internet and a computer in general, you may be curious as to how you can go about doing so.  The good news is that there are a number of ways that you can learn all that you need to know about computer and internet use.  A few of these ways are outlined below for your convenience.

Teaching yourself is an easy way to learn about the internet and computer use.  In fact, what better way is there than to just jump on the computer and see what you can find.  For starters, examine your computer or your internet browser for free internet safety tools for parents. You may also want to visit some of the websites that your child visits, just to see what they are subjecting themselves to.  Visit their online profile for MySpace, Facebook, or another social networking website.  Does it make you uneasy?  Are the discussions taking place in your child’s favorite chat room too adult?

You can also ask a trusted friend or relative for help.  Do not ask your child or teenager for help though.  If they know that you want to set up parental controls or keep tabs on their internet use, they may withhold important information from you.  Instead, invite a trusted friend or relative over for coffee and lunch and let them show you the ins and outs of the internet.  All you really need is a couple of hours.

You can also take an internet or computer education course.  These courses are sometimes offered for free or for an affordable fee by local community groups, colleges, or vocational training centers.  In fact, see if your child’s school offers anything.  Some schools host informational seminars for parents on internet safety about once a year.

Regardless of how you approach it parenting teenagers is no small feat. You will likely see that this is a very chaotic time for teens and their parents. This article will give you some ideas on how to keep your relationship with your child positive.

It’s important for you to remember that you are not their best friend you are their parent. Many parents fall into the trap of trying so hard to remain close to their teenagers that they simply let them do whatever they want. Teenagers don’t always admit it but they really do want your advice and guidance. At times they also need certain limits, and if you don’t provide these, it’s unlikely anyone else will, at least not in a constructive way. Most kids who don’t have the necessary limits end up in trouble at school, and with the law. You don’t have to be authoritarian in your approach to parenting teenagers, but you have to let your teenager know that you care what they are doing and that some things are not allowed.

One of the biggest influences a parent can have on their teenager is the example they provide. Parents often do not practice what they preach. Teens are more likely to drink or get high if their parents are doing it regardless of what the parents are telling them to do. You’ve probably experienced the parrot effect of your teens, they say what you say regardless of whether or not you’ve told them not to. Therefore, setting the example you want them to follow is one of the first principles of parenting teenagers.

Parenting teens often requires you to be the parent and now allow some things. When you don’t approve of their actions it’s important that you reinforce to them that you still love them and care about them even though their actions aren’t pleasing.

What this means for you is that your discipline and rules need to be set within a state of neutrality rather than anger. Pick your battles carefully. It has to be clear that when you make rules, it’s for the well being and safety of everyone, not because you’re mad or that you don’t like them. You must keep the position as a parent who wants what is best for their child but also one who loves that child unconditionally. You’ll quickly find that this is not as easy as it looks. You can watch your teen grow into a budding adult despite the difficult moments. Remember you are not the only one going through a transition here, your teen is struggling as much as you are. We sincerely hope the tips here have been helpful in getting you through parenting a teenager.

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Parents has the most essential and challenging role for the development of teenagers. If a parent has a teenage son or daughter, it is expected that he or she would face tremendous trials along the way. In order to fix this scenario, it is vital to study the background of the problem.

Nowadays, parenting is more difficult compared to previous years due to the far-reaching technological and sociological changes that had happened. Besides, the most influential of all changes is what we consider as the democratic revolution. In recent decades many individuals have sought to be treated as equals in terms of labor, ethic, and religious groups, women, older people, and others. Institutions, values, and old concepts of authority have been challenged and in most cases changed. With that, no two people are likely to hold the same attitude towards these changes. It is likely, though, that individuals in our society will continue to demand to be treated as equals. The democratic revolution may slow down, but it will not disappear.

In connection, some of the problems facing parents come from outside the family, from society at large. Some are unintentionally of the parent’s own making. Sometimes there is a self-fulfilling prophecy at work-if parents expect their teens to cause problems, the chances are good that problems will happen. The expectations of parents are extremely powerful in the lives of teenagers. For example, teens are aware when their parents expect them to try out for sports, participate in a band or choir, and wear the right kind of wardrobe, to be voted in an honor society, or become famous at school. Simply put, a teen, or even a younger child, does not need radar to pick up a parent’s signal. Indeed, parenting teenagers is really difficult and challenging.

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Just because you assume your kids are lying doesn’t mean you don’t love or like your kids.  It doesn’t even mean you have to label the kids as liars.  It only means that you realize your kids are lying, because kids lie. 

If you assume that your kids are telling the truth because you don’t want to condemn them before they’ve done anything wrong, you’re being naive.  You don’t have to walk around accusing them of lying every time they move their mouths.  Just know that they are lying sometimes.

My days of believing my kids because I loved them and trusted them are completely gone.  Today, I assume they tell the truth sometimes, and sometimes they lie.  This keeps me on my toes and always on the alert.

If you can afford an alarm system for your house, get one.  This comes in very handy not only to lower your house insurance rates, and not only to keep burglars out.  This also keeps your kids in.  A good alarm system alerts you when a kid is trying to sneak out of the house or trying to sneak a buddy in.

Just because your kid is happily looking at cartoons on the internet, don’t assume the cartoons are not porn.  There are many sites on line now that offer pornographic cartoons, including such familiar sites as The Simpsons and many anime sites.  You would be amazed…I know I was.  Use parental controls, and inform your kids that you will be watching their history.  If they erase their history, they risk losing the computer.

Although you can’t control, er, I mean protect your teens from everything, you can delay the inevitable by setting standards, including driving standards.  If you have drivers, steps you can take to help ensure their safety include car security cams, so you can see if they’re texting or driving erratically.  Keep a mileage log so you know how far they’re driving.  You can also have their phones programmed so they can only communicate with a few people, lowering chances that they’ll text while driving.

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If you’re reading this, you’re probably looking for some ways to get your teen off the computer. Maybe they spend all their time on Facebook. Perhaps they are addicted to an online game. Or maybe you can’t get your daughter off webcam with her boyfriend long enough to sit down for a family dinner.

I have a few teen-friendly (and parent approved) tips to get your child off the computer.

To give a little background info, I’m technically [still] a teen. Sure, my mom doesn’t control my computer use anymore – but when I was younger, we had lots of little battles over my computer use. I was [and still am] really into an online game called World of Warcraft. So while I’m speaking mostly from the teen’s point of view, I did clear my ideas with some parents. Here they are:

Ask us what we want. This one is pretty straight-forward. Ask your teen what motivates him or her (and believe me, most teens KNOW what they [think] they want.) If you find that your son is hurting for a little extra cash, and not world domination, you may be able to “bribe” him to get off the computer.
We like $ $ $ . While this may seem obvious, some parents don’t immediately get that money motivates most teens. Other parents may feel that “bribing” your teenager to spend some time off of Facebook is not an appropriate way to spend money. I don’t have a great response to that, albeit to tell you this: I’m not suggesting you give your teen a fortune, and I’m not going to say a set amount, but many teens work, and so a little extra cash is always nice.
In the teenage mind, the computer belongs to its primary user. I’m going to say the teen is under 18 in this case, which is probably the case with most parents reading this. People under 18 don’t *officially* have any “property” under our government, and so *technically*, everything in your (the parent’s) house belongs to you (the parent.) The point I’m trying to make is that if the teenager uses the computer all the time, and you rarely ever use it, they consider it to be (at least in part) theirs. I say this regardless of whether it is the teen’s personal laptop or the family computer in the common room. It’s just the way our brains function. Is this a bad thing? Well, it depends on the way you look at it. To the teen, it’s probably a good thing. To the parent, well…not so much. Because of the way teens tend to regard their machines, I urge you not to take it away all of sudden without notice.
Don’t just yank the computer away. If you have tried bargaining with your teen to spend more time with the family, but it just isn’t working – don’t just yank the computer. I cannot stress this one enough. Some parents will get into a fit of rage at their teen over whatever, and then exact their punishment by taking the teen’s computer. The teen, feeling justified because their parent has “stolen” something of theirs, then strikes back at the parent. A war of retaliation is begun that does not end well for either party.
If you plan to take it away, do it gradually –and compensate us. Doing it gradually does not mean that you just got into a huge fight with your son or daughter and announce to them that you will be taking their computer away at promptly noon tomorrow. Did you give them notice? Yes. Was it gradual? No. Did you think about your actions ahead of time? Probably not. Just because your teenager spends lots of time on the computer, and you’re sick of it, don’t just decide to take it away. I would actually recommend counseling (having been there myself) for the two of you. If you do decide on counseling, get an un-biased medical professional with at least some experience working with teens on the subject of internet/computer addiction. The first counselor my mother ever got me was a middle-aged woman who had never heard of iTunes. And I was going there because my mother had decided to move my computer to a central location from my room (see next tip). I was not pleased. If you do decide to take away your teen’s computer, I would recommend stating it kindly and then offering to do something for your teen or giving them a new opportunity in return. The opportunity should be something akin to your teen’s interest (i.e. joining a book club for a bookworm-ish teenager.) And although some teens may receive this kindly, others will not. Be prepared for a blow-up on the part of your teen. After all, how would you feel if someone was taking away your favorite thing to do?
So you wouldn’t mind having your daughter’s desktop computer in the living room. This one is a little tricky. Are you planning to allow the whole family (including your teen’s little sister who she thinks is annoying) use it? Or would it be for your teen’s personal use? To go back to the girl who is always on webcam with her boyfriend example, she probably would not be too happy that her parents could see and hear everything she typed and said on the computer. If you are moving it because you are concerned about what she is DOING on the computer – well, that’s another story…err, article. Check out the end of this particular article for info about that.

Thanks for reading! I hope these little tips helped. Stay tuned; I’m going to write another article (from the teen’s point of view) about ways to monitor what your teen is doing online, and steps to take if you don’t like your results.

Raise healthy, confident teenagers; learn the two musts for parenting teenagers in this free DIY teen psychology video from a professional life coach and experienced youth counselor. Expert: Jason Wittman Bio: Jason Wittman received his master of professional studies degree in counseling psychology from Cornell university. Since the mid-1980s, he has had a private practice as a Life Coach. Filmmaker: Nili Nathan

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